Election night was difficult. I found myself watching the news with my husband and oldest son as the results came in. Immediately, I saw how many states were turning red and I began to sob uncontrollably. I was on Facebook and Twitter too reading the comments and feeling quite terrified about the future. I swore loudly, “FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!” I felt defeated. I went upstairs to sleep.
About 1:30AM, my husband came to bed and I asked him who won.
“Trump.”
I started crying again. I was inconsolable. When I drifted back to sleep, I was awoken by the sounds of either fireworks or gun shots. It was unsettling. I live in Texas so really it could be either.
I woke up at 6AM and just sat in bed feeling alone. Very alone.
My oldest son came in and asked who won the election. He didn’t feel like going to school. We didn’t want to send him or our other two kids to school. It felt so pointless.
Some times memories pour into my mind. I remember being fairly young in elementary school and having these 2 girls that lived across the street, Natalie and Gina who I played with. They were my “friends” and one day they decided not to be my friends. I suspect that they didn’t like me because of my ethnic background. On that day, they decided to throw rocks at me. I can’t even remember why exactly except they didn’t like me anymore. I stood there for whatever reason not wanting to runaway. On that day, another girl was there and decided to throw rocks at the them instead of me. She hit Natalie in the head and her head started bleeding, Natalie’s mom told me to get my mom, the nurse.
My mom cleaned Natalie’s head. The parents asked what happened I’m sure. I don’t recall what I said. I remember the feelings I had — sadness, confusion, otherness.
This is how I feel post election all over again. Sadness, confusion, and otherness. But rather than hiding or walking from threat. I want to face it head on. I don’t just want to protest. I want to make a difference.
We all need to make a difference in small ways. Somebody could get hurt and you have to be there to get help or support in their times of need. That’s what is sticking out in my mind. We’re lucky to live in a time where we can find like-minded people on the internet. Lift each other up right now.
Organize, strategize, and let’s get to work. Our family and friends need us. Maybe you don’t have the strength right now. Self-care is super important too. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Remember to keep your eye on the things that need to get done. We need to create a safe equal society for all Americans and be a beacon of goodness in the world.
Wraith of Khan 